How the under appreciated get noticed

December 12, 2012 — 5 Comments

“Why am I under appreciated?”  Feeling under appreciated is the cause of many broken relationships.  It is also a mystery to most people.

How the under appreciated get noticed

cc By tcatcarson – The Blindfold game

It is hard to understand why other people can’t see the value in you.  This is a common concern in the business world, and in family life.  You deserve to have this question answered.

Why you are Under Appreciated

The blindness to your value is called inattentional blindness.  That is a fancy way of saying, “you are being ignored.”  This happens because of 2 primary reasons:

You are taken for granted.

You are too Occupied.

  • You will miss really important details when you are too busy.
  • There was a time that my relationship with my wife was in trouble, and I didn’t know it.  I was too busy working.  My assumption was “She knows I love her.”

How to Get Noticed

Notice the Other Person.

  • You are not giving enough appreciation to other people.
  • Reflecting on the value of others will change your perception.
  • Prepare yourself to notice other people.

Break the Pattern

  • Do something different to get the attention of the other person.  A great idea is to set a meeting to discuss your feelings.
  • Get squeaky.  There is truth to the old adage, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.”
  • Don’t become negative when you are expressing your feelings.

Be Intentional

  • Attend communication classes.  My wife and I have found a deeper love in attending classes together.  She needs to know that I know the value of being a stay-at-home mom.
  • You have to be intentional in discovering new ways to get noticed, and give notice.

Question:  When you felt under appreciated, what happened?  How have you gotten the attention of others?

Todd Liles

Todd Liles

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I am Todd Liles, and this is my personal blog. It is focused on "Living Well." I follow Christ, I lead my family, and teach at Service Excellence Training. Get more of Todd on Google+.
  • Matt McWilliams

    Reminds me of

    (Shameless plug haha)

    Underappreciation is by far the number one cause of leaving jobs, suicide, broken marriages, runaway children, and dandruff.

    OK maybe not the last one.

    I can’t think of a specific time I felt underappreciated. I have been fortunate to have worked for great leaders and have a wife who encourages me.

    But I have certainly underappreciated others as a leader…and thankfully learned from it!

    • Todd Liles

      Thanks for extending the conversation!

      You have been lucky to work with such great leaders!

    • Todd Liles

      You said you have under appreciated people in the past. What result did that cause?

      • Matt McWilliams

        No one quit because I had a great leader above me who saved the day on more than one occasion.

        I eventually had a team member who lived in the same apartment complex who cared enough to talk with me. That was the beginning of my evolution :)

        • Todd Liles

          That was an awesome friend!